1 In From the heart

The 5 Love Languages

I would like to dedicate this post to probably one of my favorite books…ever.  I cannot remember where or when I heard about the 5 Love Languages, but when I got the chance I bought one of the books in the range for myself.  There are many versions (For Children, Men, Singles, Teenagers and some others) but my first Love Languages book was “The 5 love languages – Singles Edition”. I bought it while I was obviously still single, and because the thought and application behind the message of these books stay the same throughout all versions.  I also thought it might be more useful being able to apply what I learn on all relationships in my life.  Actually, you should just go out and get a Love Language book yourself, and not only be reading about it over here! But let me share my thoughts on these books before you go:

So I truly believe that every person has a unique love language created by God, in which they give and receive.  Some may be the same and some may be totally different.  Some people might have even developed more than one love language!  By practicing these languages, just as you would practice a language which you speak, you get better at it.  The great thing about this is that you will learn to read other people’s love language and fill up their love tank by just paying a bit more attention to the little things!

The Love Languages helped me to see why sometimes some of my relationships make me feel empty – as if I am always giving and never getting anything v in return.  Also why I tend to relate more to other relationships, because after leaving, I feel as if my love tank has been filled.  It helps one to understand why some people react better to certain ways of doing things, and why some people don’t worry about what you give them but would prefer spending time with you.  This isn’t always easy, if you marry a gift giver, but you are a “words of affirmation” type of person, both will have to meet each other halfway and learn to give in the other one’s love language. If you are expecting words but only getting physical gifts, your love tank is going to run out sooner than you think.

The basis of the love languages is the 5 types of languages :

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Acts of service
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch

At a stage I was going around asking my closest friends to do the test! (You can do it online here) I truly wanted to know how I could be a better friend to them.  Some people I can figure out right away, but some are a bit tricky.  Some also have two very strong languages which is great!  One of the first things I made my Husband – then boyfriend – do, was to take the test.  It really helped me understand him and his needs much better.

God created love, He encompasses love!  It absolutely cracks my brain to even imagine how big his Love is for us! He knows just how we need to be loved and he speaks every heart’s love language.  If we sometimes just give Him the time and energy to fill us up with the love we need so dearly.  Lately, I have been feeling that I need my cup to be filled with His love and spirit again.  I have not been spending my best time with Him in order for Him to fully fill me.  But the best part about His love is that He loves us so fully and completely He was willing to give up His son on the cross for us.  Now that is the greatest act of love that will ever exist. The only thing He asks is that we love Him in return, with all that we have and love His people the best we can.

So breaking it down a bit, Love only exists in a relationship.  In your relationship with God, your husband, your family, your friends and your colleagues. The more you speak the language the more it grows, if you water your garden, it will grow.

Where you invest your love, there you invest your life.

Here is a short summary of each of the love languages:

1.Words of affirmation


This is when you use words or encouraging words to affirm other people.  Or when you feel loved when others give you affirming words.  For example, you thrive on compliments and when others congratulate you, or are always giving compliments and affirming words to people in your life.

2. Acts of service


Actions speak louder than words.  These people feel most loved when you do something for them, expected or unexpected.  Helping out around the house or doing a task without being asked.  Acts of service givers are usually the ones who stay behind to help clean up, always busy helping out where they can, being of service to their loved ones.

3. Receiving Gifts


You can literally give this person anything and they will be super excited about it.  The smallest thoughtful gift means the world.  The gift giver will never come empty handed, and never ever not give a thoughtful gift on special occasions.

4. Quality time


Spending time with this person fills them right up.  Special time, date-night, coffee dates.  Time spent together with undivided attention is very valuable to this person.  The quality time giver will also always be organising to spend quality time with their loved ones.

5. Physical Touch


Appropriate touch speaks to this person’s heart.  They need to be loved by touching them, giving hugs, a pat on the back or even just an arm squeeze.  The giver of this language will most definitely always be giving out hugs, and giving them to everyone!

If you would really like to make a difference today in the love you have in your relationships, take the test and read the book.  It can really fill up your love tank but most importantly help you fill up others love tank!  I know this isn’t always easy! I know! Life gets tough, and relationships complicated, but hopefully this can make you understand it better, and learn to manage it better.

I would love to hear what your love languages are, and what you experience after reading this 🙂

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    esther payne
    December 5, 2016 at 8:13 am

    Beautiful article about the Love Language book – so much to learn and definitely so much to work into our daily life – thank you!

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